liferewardsrisk, Author at Life Rewards Risk by Mike Royer

The Beard

Randall says Don't let them shave me. Quinn replies What?

Randall elaborates If I'm ever in a coma, tell the nurses to let my beard grow.

Quinn questions Wait, why should you be in a coma?

Randall bawks Uh, because of my new beard serum. Keep up, Quinn!

Live fast and leave a bushy beard.

Limitless

Judd exclaims Ha

Judd says to Quinn My world is limitless! Quinn responds So what do you do with it?

Judd and Quinn gaze

Quinn states Ah, so nothing.

Limitless possibilities. Limited self space.

Sleepytime

Quinn asks No sleepytime tea? Judd replies No weighted blanket? Quinn adds He didn't even leave the TV on!

Quinn replies What's happening? I'm scared. Judd adds No, it can't be.

Judd continues Randall's fallen asleep COLD TURKEY.

Quinn says Not on my watch.

Randall takes his sleepytime tea with sugar, milk, and nyquil.

Lasers

Quinn says Come on, Judd. Just get the laser eye surgery already.

Judd replies I've been told my entire life not to look at lasers. Why would I put them in my eyes on purpose?!

Randall adds Yeah, yeah. Lasers bad. We've heard it before.

Randall continues But we need you to stop walking into the sliding glass door.

The Laser giveth, and the Laser taketh away.

True Crime

Judd says to Randall So, I'm guessing they haven't caught that serial killer yet.

Randall responds I'm no victim.

Randall continues I refuse to be a part of that psycho's eventual true crime series.

Judd replies Then I would suggest making your episode less entertaining. Quinn adds Get out of jail free cards?

I understand a serial killer probably wouldn’t NEED a “How 2 Kill” book but I believe they would be tempted to see if they made the table to contents.

The Bath

Quinn on the phone to Judd says Why is your voice so soft? Judd replies The bath soothes me.

Quinn say you sound like you're in a receptive mood. Judd replies My channels are open to the universe.

Quinn say Well, the universe told me to race some teens.

Quinn continues So, now the car's on fire and upside down.

The bath is a magical place in which to be taken advantage of.

Riffraff

Judd, Quinn, and Randall inside a hedge. Quinn says Quick thinking jumping into this hedge. Judd adds I didn't expect it to be so roomy in here.

Randall replies They're great for avoiding the sidewalk riffraff. Outside the hedge a girl scout passes by.

Quinn says Lets just tell her we all left our wallets at home. Randall replies Nah, I've seen this one before.

Randal continues She'll just ask for routing numbers. Judd adds Are those brass knuckles?

Sidewalk riffraff can also be avoided by ducking behind a large rock or holding a few branches and standing next to a tree.

Get a Grip

Quinn says Look at me now Mom!

Trapped in a restaurant supply closet

Because my hands are covered in BBQ sauce

and I can't grip the door knob. I thought this was the bathroom.

This is usually where my SEO plugin tells me to repeat my focus keyword “Get a Grip” but I can’t think of an organic way to fold it in. I’m taking a bogey on this one.

The Beekeeper’s Mistress

Randall says to Quinn What are you reading? Quinn replies The Beekeeper's Mistress.

Randall says It's hard to believe a Beekeeper gets that much action.

Quinn replies Oh, you better BEE-lieve it!

Quinn tells Randall I'm not sorry. This book is hot.

Randall says to Judd I can't believe Quinn made that bee pun right to my face.

Judd asks Wait, so you're a bee?

Randall replies Maybe? Guess I never really thought about it before.

Judd says Well, now I can't stop thinking about it.

Judd says to Randall Alright, let's figure out what kind of bug you are.

Judd asks Do you buzz? Randall replies Occasionally. Judd asks Are your legs musical? Randall replies Not since High School.

Judd asks Can you fly?

Randall begins to fly. Everyone is surprised.

Judd sits next to Quinn and says to Randall So, you're a fly, Randall? Randall replies I will fly out of any box society tries to put me in.

Quinn says Just use your powers for good, not evil.

Randall floats in front of the TV and says Does this work? Quinn replies A little higher.

Randall now floats up and the TV displays Up Next The Beekeeper's Mistress. Quinn says perfect.

The Beekeeper’s Mistress now streaming on The History Channel, probably.

A Little Time

Judd says Just give me a little time and I'll get this fixed.

Randall says How does time fix the car? Quinn adds Yeah, how do you fix a car with no tools or parts?

Quinn holds his head out the window while the car drives down the road.

Quinn says I'm simply too mystified to apologize.

What can’t a little time fix? Shirk responsibility let life waft over you.